Examphobia

I have my accountancy exam tomorrow, and it feels like I am going to light my own pyre the next morning.

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The thing about exams is that they suck the life out of you, and spit it on the floor and squash it under their spiked soles, and then they piss over you before giving you a break.
I have my accountancy exam tomorrow, and it feels like I am going to light my own pyre the next morning. My expectations were never as high as 99.99% or above, but right now, a mere 33% seems like a distant and impossibly tough dream, like crossing Atlantic in one-size-small innerwears.
So yeah, I’m going to screw up big tomorrow. But that’s still okay, because I’ve developed some sort of screwing-up syndrome, and it’s fine if not heavenly. The problem is that girl who sits behind me and thinks of me as some high-brow Socrates or local Einstein or some omnipotent scholar which I’d have loved to play, but I just can not, and she some (most of the ) times pisses me off. I’ve never (okay I’m fibbing ) resorted to cheating (the last time I did, I was caught, and was mocked in front of the whole class) whereas the girl behind me takes up this risky venture as her favorite hobby, as if stealing answers is something cool and thrilling ( which it is, actually ). So anyway, I really want to say it out and loud at her face that I am a wuss and dumb, and so I can not show her the answers (or here, a blank answersheet ) and she should understand that. But since it sounds like making fun of myself, I won’t say it.
Then, my lodgemate sits on my left. And that is unsettling. I mean he is the one who transfers porn into my otherwise clean phone and brain. And he sits there, laughing at himself and at me, and through the looks in his eyes, says, “ah! Let’s get the hell outta here! ”
On my right sits a beauty who I get to see during exams only. She’s the only comfort in this otherwise godforsaken purgatory I’m being kicked into every once in a while.
But I loathe exams. I really do, with all my heart. They’ll never ask you what’s this and what’s that, they’ll always tell you this’s this and that’s that, so now tell me what’s what. How the hell one answers that question?
Plus, Maa calls and reminds me of my duty as a son, which comprises of two non-negotiable tasks :-
1. GET INTO SRCC and
2. GET HER AN AC CAR.
It’s taking me over. And I don’t even have a girlfriend. Yet.
So I guess, I’ll just flip through my accountancy book and then watch some porn and go to sleep.
Life’s tough.
Amen.

Author: ravish raj

● 17yearoldboy ● capricorn ● artist ● pornaholic ● victim of the great INDIAN EDUCATION SYSTEM ● Googlebhakt ● amateur writer ● confused and devastated ● UNATTRACTIVE ● still a virgin ●

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