Happy Birthday to Me…

She called and we talked for an hour, and she spoke like a Mozart melody and I croaked like a lastbencher in a surprise viva, and she was frank and perky and awesome and I was nervous and cold and shit scared……

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Exactly 18 years ago, when the world was two calendars away from the 21st century, when the civilisation didn’t know of smartphones, Harry Potter and Kim Kardashian, when people were ignorant and weak, when the sun was tarnished brown with boredom and dullness, when the society needed a mending job, when the world needed a hero, somebody must have appeared through the thin air to save the earth; but it was not me. 😐
I didn’t appear exactly, I was probably pushed out through a tube or whatever, and the first memory I have of myself after my birth is not an infant-me gawking at the hot nurse’s bright pink lipstick but the six-year old me pissing at the boundary wall of the defunct sugarcane factory because, well, my bladder was at bursting point and everybody pissed on that factory wall. Anyway, if it’s not obvious yet, it’s my birthday today.
A normal day for me, but Hazel Grace (John Green will sue me on copyright charges, but I cannot think of any better name for her; and no, she isn’t Doctor) was super excited. Well, what do I tell you about Hazel Grace Lancaster? She is like the night sky of the New Year – bright, dazzling and beautiful. She called and we talked for an hour, and she spoke like a Mozart melody and I croaked like a lastbencher in a surprise viva, and she was frank and perky and awesome and I was nervous and cold and shit scared. We talked, and it was always she speaking and I listening and saying “hmm” and giving chuckles at her witty remarks.

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It was beautiful, that is, until I ran out of balance. She called though and we talked for some time until my mother appeared out of nowhere. I disconnected the call in a flash. She stared at me as if I were the ghost of Euclid singing Jingle Bells on her swing. I explained to her that it was my friend Abhishek and NO IT WAS NOT A GIRL and then I said byebye to Hazel Grace Lancaster and removed earphones from my ears. And when I checked the log, we were over an hour on phone. That’s the first time I’ve talked to any human for so long.
It felt like a dream….

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