“I am going to divorce your Father. “

“Am I serious? Hell, yeah. I’m dead serious. In fact, I want you to whatsapp a divorce message to your father right now. “

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Hullo Everyone!

It was a fine morning today, cold and cloudy and just how I like it, with the breeze gushing in through the open windows and a pair of pigeons cooing in the opposite balcony. It seemed like the day you get your call letter from Delhi University bearing a note, “we will be lucky to have you in our family. Also, enclosed with this letter is a three-days, four-nights holiday ticket to Mauritius. ” I was lolling on my bed, listening to twentieth century songs on 106.4 FM, when my mother entered the room stomping her feet. She had the look on her face that says,’I am going to divorce your father.’
“I am going to divorce your father. “She said.
What!!??? I recoiled in shock. Is this a dream!!?? I mean, is this a nightmare???
Her eyes were burning with fury. I gulped in horror as the earphones fell out of my ears.
“What! But why? ”
“Because I’m sick of him. “She snapped. 
I considered asking her why she was sick of him, but as I looked at her scarlet face and clenched fists, I dropped the idea.
“I want to know who you are going to be with after the divorce. With me, or your father?”She said emphatically.
Er…how do you answer that, guys? I thought divorce happens only in movies! I considered saying ,’I am going to be with you, maa.’ but then I weighed the pros and cons of being with her. And then, I didn’t feel like saying that anymore.
“Are you serious? “I asked, instead. She glared at me as she said,
“Am I serious? Hell, yeah. I’m dead serious. In fact, I want you to whatsapp a divorce message to your father right now. ”
Whatsapp a what!!?? Okay, this is crazy! Is she high?
“Um..don’t you think divorce messages are kind of intimate conversations which shouldn’t be passed through children? “I said. I certainly didn’t want to type a divorce message to my own father. She seemed to ponder over it.
“You didn’t answer my question. Who you are going to be with? ”
“Well, I think I’ll be living alone, in a lodge, attending a college. ”
“Don’t try to duck the question. “She said as her piercing gaze bore through me.
“Of course I want to be with you! In fact, I have always wanted to be with you. I too am sick of my father. In fact I have always been sick of him. ”
I was already filled with guilt as I bitched about my own father. He is the best one you get. But I didn’t have any option, you see. A triumphant smile leapt on my mother’s face.
“Wait, I’m looking for lawyers. “She said as she exited the room, leaving me flabbergasted. What the hell!!?
I instantly whatsapped Papa.
“Why is Maa so mad?”
“I accidentally broke the flower vase. “He sent, adding two innocent-face emojis after the text.
“Which one? “
“The one she bought from Kolkata. “
Oh, fuck! She had fought three women for that vase in the one-time sale fair in her only trip to Kolkata. It meant the world to her.
“Well, she is going to divorce you. “
“What!!!!”
“She is looking for divorce lawyers. “
My father went offline.
Then, I didn’t hear about my parents for a few decades.
A few minutes ago, my mother entered the room stomping her feet. I prepared myself for alimony-related discussions.
“I think it was terrible of you to speak about your father in that manner. What kind of son is sick of his own father!!?? “She said.
“Uh..I…I..”
She shook her head and left, while I sat gaping, wondering what on earth is wrong with my mother.
Stay tuned!

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