The Commode Mishap

“…..and I am sitting on the commode thinking ,’ wow, I’m sitting on a commode in SRCC! ‘ and when I am finished I discover that the bidet nozzle isn’t working. “


I was savouring the saucy and spicy eggplant dish yesterday evening at my flatmate’s study cum dining table as he sat opposite me, chewing with his eyebrows drawn closer to each other, as if the burden of reviving Yemen’s economy lied solely on his shoulders. The aluminium bowl on the table was stuffed with halwa, all of which, actually, was his share. Behind my back, in the hall, the Jio Guy was doing push ups. 

“I had a bad day today. “The Kota Boy said. He had just returned from the University trials of Badminton, losing 21-3.

“It’s okay. You can try next year. “I tried to soothe him, simultaneously wanting to ask if I could have a share in his halwa.

“It’s not about losing the game. ” He said, frowning, “I had the worst morning ever. I am in SRCC for the first time, and I’m thinking, well, maybe I could empty my bowels or something, so I go to their lustrous toilet, and I am sitting on the commode thinking ,’ wow, I’m sitting on a commode in SRCC!  ‘ and when I am finished I discover that the bidet nozzle isn’t  working. ”

Oh. My. God. Not again! This guy always gets commode-tragedies!
And he always tells them while we are dining!!

“So I sit there, thinking that I am trapped inside a toilet in a strange college, and I cannot call out anybody for help, and I have my whole life flashing before my eyes, and half of the images in my mind are of me trapped in a toilet with a defunct bidet, and I don’t know why fate always throws this cruel joke at me. ”

“I wait there for some time and then I get up and walk in a really weird manner upto the next commode. I check the stupid bidet, it doesn’t work, and I move to the next one and I keep on doing that till I find a generous device, all while walking like I had an oversized watermelon between my thighs. ”

I didn’t want to laugh, but the Jio Guy behind me was hysterical with laughter, and so I couldn’t hold myself back. And also, I suddenly lost my appetite for a week.

“And then there was no food. I had to wait there for 6 hours. The commode kept flashing before my eyes throughout the game. I lost. ”

“When you go for Chess trials, remember one thing. Don’t use the toilet. “He said. I nodded and got up from the table.

A few minutes later, the Jio Guy handed me his phone and asked me to record a video of he skipping the rope. As I saw his pot, I felt slightly better for myself.

See, the thing about life is that it comes with ups and downs. The Kota Boy is a maths-wiz, but he gets stuck at the ugliest places. So everybody goes through the commode-mishap, figuratively.
You can’t always have just one side. The coin keeps flipping, all the way, all the time.

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