It was a full moon night, and we were trudging along the quiet street, amidst the rows of silent, unmoving Chinaberries. Our smoky breaths raced out before they dissolved into each other. The silence between us wasn’t unsual, but I wanted to talk. I wanted to say things that could stop her, things that could make her believe that I wasn’t a stone, things that could make her fall in love with me, again. Only that I didn’t know what to say. She was wearing yellow, and her huge bulky glasses made her look delectable. The last time I saw her without the glasses was eight months ago, right after we kissed. I remember putting it back. I remember watching that shy smile across her face.
What I don’t remember is us breaking up. Maybe we just changed, or grew apart. I can’t remember the point where the ship began to crack, but it had happened somewhere in the past eight months, and it couldn’t be reversed now.
Love is like a chemical reaction, people lose their identities in the process. We had changed, and maybe we didn’t like the new us. It’s funny how love makes you stupid.
I wanted to hold her fingers, feel her touch, the warmth and the softness of her skin. An accidental brush would have been fine, but the space between us was now filled with bricks and so my nerves resisted.
She was quiet, the gloss of moon frozen on her black frame. I could watch those tiny eyes behind those enormous glasses forever.
How could we end this? We were so perfect. We knew each other like we knew ourselves. We were inseparable.
“This is it. “She said as she stopped at the corner. I couldn’t read her expressions anymore. Time is the worst disaster. The only debris it leaves is intangible whittling memories.
“Yeah. “I nodded. She exhaled. She didn’t move. Neither did I.
“Okay then. ”
Her words felt like the last slice of the last pizza in all the universe.
And then something happened.
“You look good in glasses. And although I had always hated yellow, I think I don’t hate it that much anymore. In fact, I bought a yellow baby towel last weekend. I have 467 photos of yours which I sneaked from your Facebook profile. I have recorded our calls and I listen to it whenever I’m low. I have a total of 213 recordings. The longest time we ever talked on phone was 404 minutes on the Diwali eve, when you sulked because I forgot your Teddy’s birthday. It’s on the 8th of August. The only pet you’ve ever had was a male pug named Robin who ran away with a bitch when you were 6. Your favorite dessert is ice cream, and you hate chocolate. Your favourite hero is SRK, your favorite movie is Mohabbatein, and your favorite song is Lag jaa Gale. You wanted to go to Paris since you were 9, when you saw a shimmering Eiffel Tower on the postcard your uncle brought for you from his Europe tour. You love your earpods more than anything else. They are white, and the left one has a green, heart-shaped stain which you don’t want to remove. The first thing you’re going to do with your first salary is buying a Royal Enfield bike. It has to have a 3 on the number plate. Your favorite porn category is cunnilingus. You have exactly 28 teeth, and your blood group is B+. The last time your doctor gave you an injection you punched him square on the face. You were 10 then. You’re afraid of cockroaches and crossing the road. You’re afraid of obsolescence. You’re afraid that people will forget you after you are dead. But there’s this thing I want you to know – I’ll remember you. Every fine detail and each of the things you said to me. Not because I should but because I have to. Knowing you and remembering you isn’t my curiosity, it’s my necessity. I don’t even know why I’m saying these stuffs. I should have said them before. I should have spoken. I am sorry.”
For a while, she stared at me in silence. Then, she said,
“I have another molar growing up. And I think I’ve begun liking chocolates now. Chocolates remind me of you. ”
I was unable to move.
“There’s a lot for you to catch up to, Rabbit. “She said. There it was, that annoying pet name. But I liked it. I wanted to hear that again. And again and again and again. God, I wanted to keep her for life.
“So do you mind taking a U turn and telling me everything you haven’t told me yet? “She said. And so, I told her everything. Walking amidst the quiet Chinaberries, under the halo of glimmering silver, I told her everything that I’d never told before.