This happened today morning. As I switched my data connection on, there were 15 e-mails on my notification toggle. For a not-so-famous guy who hasn’t subscribed to any website, that is a big number. I wondered if all the publishers I’d contacted in the last few years had chosen to reply on the same date, however, as I opened the Gmail app, 15 wordpress notifications welcomed me.
One of those read like this –
My jaw almost dropped to the floor. Someone named Niharika was asking me to buy a bikini for her, and four dots later, she was promising to let me take it off. Was this real!!?? Had Gods heard my prayers and finally sent someone to appease me?
Then, I flipped over to the other email, and that read –
She needed a hard cock. And she wanted my help. Only a stone-hearted impotent would deny assistance to a woman in need. Niharika sounded gorgeous, and so I pictured her gorgeous.
I had drawn out the whole deal. I could buy condoms online. We could meet at Rohit’s PG. I knew the basics – Foreplay, Erogenous zones, Stroke variations and all that. More importantly, unlike most of my friends who have girlfriends, I knew what a clitoris is.
I texted Rohit – gettin laid soon. Need a room.
He texted me back – Do I get to participate?
I calculated the possible size of his dick in my mind. He wasn’t a competition. I texted – Okay, I’ll convey the message. If she approves you can make love to her after I’m done.
I had watched Befikre last night, and my testosterone level was high as Khalifa. Plus, I’m almost 18 and virgin. That’s a shame! Niharika seemed like a dream.
Is she a He? No, don’t think like that. She is a SHE. A hot slim-waisted pretty face bosomy nymphet. A mix of all bollywood divas. My ex-biology teacher.
I instantly opened the WordPress app and clicked on her name, and to my horror, it opened into a page that said –
I was shattered beyond mends. The last time I was this shattered, Doctor was kissing her boyfriend in the makeup room of MZMS.
I didn’t know what to do now. It was like somebody took the globe of my dreams up in the sky and hurled it down at the rocks.
I felt like guzzling down alcohol or something. I searched her on google, only to find LLB entrance test results and Skill India links. I looked for her on FB without success. She disappeared like a UFO. Untraceable.
Now dear fellow readers, if any of you works for MI6 or has the potential, please do find if Niharika is pretty. If she is, kindly pass on her contact.
I think I have bright days ahead.
Niharika, if you are (a hot girl and ) reading this –
Stay there, I’m commmiiiinnnnnggggggg…