It has been a year since then. All my memories have become smoggy. Even though the texts are archived on FB, I haven’t browsed through those for the last 365 days. She’s online, she always is, but we don’t talk anymore. I check her profile, the latest updates, and after I fail to find any recent developments I go to settings to log out.
Dingggg! goes my messenger.
It’s a text from her.
We talk. Reminisce and tell. It’s different now, though. The persons that we were and the persons we have become. Kind of Strangers. The air between us isn’t pink anymore. Two days later, she drops the hammer with the words –
Being a history student who has studied constant linear changes for the last two semesters, there’s no one like me who can lay an iota more of emphasis on the fact that PEOPLE CHANGE. Yes, people! You change. You bloody change. And so does everything else in the universe. Hell, according to Neil degrasse Tyson, even the universe is changing, constantly.
The problem is when the other person doesn’t accept that she has changed.
“I’m still the same Naina/Pinky/Salma/whatever, but you’ve changed. “They claim and make you feel the guilt you could have happily lived without.
The reason why they claim such might vary, but the most remarkable and obvious one is because they themselves want to escape the guilt. Now people, guilt isn’t some single bed mosquito net with a hole that you can escape. It’s a liability that has to be shifted. So unless you’re forgiven or proved innocent, there’s no escaping guilt. One spectacular way of proving yourself innocent is to pass the guilt to someone else. Make the victim the criminal. Genius! 😑
So what happens is that the other person texts you out of nowhere, pretends she wants to rekindle the friendship/half-girlfriendship/whatever, either consciously or subconsciously, and instead what she does is find the changes, spot those minute differences in your manners that actually are developments over periods and says – You aren’t the same person anymore. And this lame line justifies it all. At once, the roles are reversed, and she becomes the victim. The victim of your change.
This is like the height of ridiculousness. 😂
Yes I am not the same person anymore. But nor are you. We both have grown. Differently and apart. You think you are the same innocent self but you are not. At least I do not live in a delusion. And at least, I don’t feel the guilt that you subconsciously feel.
The change is bound to happen. Life is like a river, as old poets have sung. It never stops, just goes on and on, always moving ahead, changing itself and the world around it. The problem isn’t that I changed and you changed but that we didn’t change together. We forked away and now our courses don’t run parallel. That’s a naked truth you can’t see. But you must understand this.
And don’t be guilty of the past, well, unless you’ve killed like one million jews or something. Move on. Change. That is why you are a human. The change that happens with you and within you isn’t merely a change, it’s growth. Grow.
And of course I don’t owe an apology to somebody if I have changed even an atom. It’s upto you to stay or leave. I’ll keep changing, with time and tides. That’s why I am free…